What is Somatic Sex Therapy?

Somatic Sex Therapy is a holistic healing approach that combines  traditional sex therapy techniques with a somatic "body-based" approached, sometimes, but not always, involving hands-on work. 
Somatic Sex Therapy takes talk sex therapy to the next level. It blends pragmatic, action-oriented sex education with talking. Clients are guided through erotic education and practice sessions to build new skills and solidify new techniques. Somatic Sex Therapy is suitable for individuals and for couples.  
Couples' Somatic Sex Therapy offers many new tools for couples to deepen their connection and erotic relationships, and have great sex. New levels of intimacy and pleasure are reached through experimentation, communication and practice.  Sometimes it is easier to break out of old patterns when there is someone to facilitate and make suggestions.  
If you are curious if Somatic Sex Therapy would be helpful for you, I invite you to consider the following self-assement chart.  Honestly assess where you are right now. 

 Sexual stuck-ness
You live mostly in your head

You notice sexual blocks/ inhibitions

You have physical sexual issues like orgasms or libido

Orgasms are small and limited to your genital area

Sexual past prevents you enjoying sex

You're in a low-sex or no-sex relationship

You're in repeating destructive relationship patterns 

Shame is a permanent resident

Your ability to feel is compromised; numbness

The sexual routine in your relationship is boring

No current info about sex, safety, consent, or STI's

Not sure how to initiate sex, or what to do

You may experience pelvic pain or discomfort

You feel uncomfortable talking about sex

You don't really know what you want, just not this.
Erotic Freedom
You live fully in your body

You have easy access to your turn-on

Everything's working as it should physically

Your orgasms run a spectrum from good to amazing

You're in the present, experiencing your full sexuality

Great sex is happening on the regular

Your solid intimacy skills that connect you 

You live a big, joyful shame-free life

You feel exquisite pleasure and sensation

Your sexual relationships are curious and exploratory 

You have solid knowledge and know-how about sex

You feel sexually confident

You experience relaxed pleasure

You've got effective sexy communication skills 

You know what you want, ask for it, and receive it!
If you find that you are mostly on the "sexually stuck" side of things, 
Somatic Sex Therapy can you move towards erotic freedom.  

How does Somatic Sex Therapy help? 


​Somatic Sex Therapy is particularly helpful for resolving:
  • Issues with libido
  • Lack of desire
  • Lack of pleasurable sensation
  • Relearning to set, communicate and maintain boundaries
  • Body Image issues
  • Sexual Trauma
  • Challenges with communicating desire
  • Aversion to touch and/or intimacy
  • Pain in the pelvic floor
  • Arousal challenges
  • Shame
  • Body numbness

Why would I want to see a Somatic Sex Therapist instead of a regular therapist?

Sometimes, “talk sex therapy” isn’t enough. Working through the body has immediate, lasting results. 

Somatic Sex Therapists help clients with a wide variety of concerns. And some have nothing to do with sex. Somatic Sex Therapists are different due to their comfort level with sexuality and physical touch, as well as their ability to include an appropriate physical element of support.

Consider the limitations of talk sex therapy in these example situations:
  • “I get really anxious when someone sits too close to me in public.”
  • “Even thought I’m lonely,  I can’t stand anyone touching me.”
  • "I freeze when someone flirts with me, even if I am totally attracted to them."
  • "I don't know what I like sexually."  
  • “I want to have sex, but I get triggered when I get aroused.”​​

​By including the physical dimension in therapy, Somatic Sex Therapists have the ability to bring greater depth to the process, which can create greater change in a shorter time.

What should I expect in a Somatic Sex Therapy session?

You should expect the same things you would expect from any other professional. The obvious difference is that in addition to the usual talking, Somatic Sex Therapy sessions can include movement. You may be guided and encouraged to explore, but you are always in choice about what is happening.

Your feedback is an important part of any sex therapy session, and especially important in sessions involving touch. You may experience subtle internal reactions which can be either non-evident or obvious. Volunteering your inner experience, such as “I’m feeling ____” or “I’m thinking ____” or “I’m remembering ____” or “I want ____” is usually helpful, just as it is in any relationship.

At all times in any session, you have the choice of saying “no” and you can expect your somatic sex therapist to honor that boundary. 

What results can I expect from Somatic Sex Therapy?

If you did the self-assessment above, basically the results you can expect from Somatic Sex Therapy sessions are the descriptions on the "Erotic Freedom" side of the chart. 

You know how to figure out what you want, and you give yourself permission to like what you like. You know how to say "yes" and "no" without apology. You spend your time living inside of your body, and have access to feeling a full range of pleasure and sensation.  

​You can set and maintain clear verbal boundaries without feeling bad. You easily communicate about sex and desire. You feel free of shame or hurt from the past. You feel alive, and that you are living on the inside of your life. You have the capacity to connect intimately with others, and share your true feelings. You feel support and joy as core components of your life.
​​"The somatic sex therapy work I have begun in such a holistic way with Pavini's guidance and support is deeply powerful.  It is healing and transformative, starting at the cellular layer and spiraling through my body, my sex, my emotions, my brain, my actions and relationships -- all of me. In particular, I'm able to stay present during sex, and last week I asked my partner for something I'd been afraid to ask for. And she said yes! I am so grateful for the wonderful sex education, sex coaching and loving whole-hearted support Pavini has given me." ~ Mel G., San Francisco, CA
Legal Notice: With reference to California Penal Code section 647(b) and CALCRIM Nos. 1153 to 1155, the services discussed herein do not in any way include or relate to either(1) engagement in any lewd act for money or other consideration, or (2) solicitation, offer, or agreement to engage in any lewd act for money or other consideration.   SB577 : Complementary healing arts such as Somatic Sex Therapy and Sexological Bodywork do not require licensing by the state of California. Emancipating Sexuality is the sex therapy practice of Sex Therapist Pavini Moray, located in San Francisco. We offer sex therapy, sex coaching, to adult clients and couples seeking sexual healing, especially those in lesbian, gay, queer, and transgender communities. Beyond sex therapy, Pavini offers sex education workshops and trainings. Sex therapy can be helpful for resolving common sexual problems.Centrally located in San Francisco, we provide easily accessible sex therapy to South San Francisco, the east bay, Oakland and Marin. sitemap